The Play in the Pony
by serenissa
Summary: AU continuation of the Couples Counseling session after Death in the Saddle - Bones embarrasses Booth with her willingness to discuss dreams of a certain nature. Fluff and nonsense, oneshot, set mid S3.


**AN: I've just been watching the Couples Counseling shorts on You Tube, and this is my reimaging of how one of them could have continued. Set in season 3, after **_**Death in the Saddle. **_

**Fluffy as fluff can be, oneshot. Just practicing to try and get the voices right – I am very new to this!**

**Disclaimer: Hmm, I crossed my fingers, spun around in circles and said abracadabra. And yet I still don't own them. Funny that. First couple of lines of dialogue are lifted straight from the Couples Counseling session.**

* * *

'So,' she asked, a mischievous smile on her face. 'Who was your pony play sex partner?'

'You know what, just forget it,' he replied, immediately regretting having brought up the subject. 'Better we just tell him we got nothing.'

He briefly looked across. She was positively grinning.

'Was it me?'

'Bones, like I said, better we just forget the whole thing, and let Doogie Howser give us some stupid trust exercises or whatever games he wants to play to amuse himself.' Oh, there was no _way_ he was ready to have this conversation.

'It's totally understandable if it was Booth. I mean, you've stated in the past that you find me physically attractive, and I was also your partner whilst we investigated the case. It's hardly remarkable that when you had a dream related to the case, I was also your partner in the dream. I mean logically it makes –'

'-Bones!' he hissed, face reddening, willing her with all his being to be quiet. She was still smiling.

'There's really nothing to embarrassed about, Booth. I've had sex dreams about you. It doesn't _mean_ anything,' she replied, innocently as ever.

'What?' he spluttered in reply.

'Yes, on occasion,' she answered, still seemingly completely nonplussed. 'Well, it's hardly surprising, you're an attractive man who I spend a lot of time around. Whilst you know I don't give much credence to psychology, it does seem natural that during sleep my instinctual biological urges to reproduce may manifest in –'

'-Bones!' he interrupted, though it came out rather more like a squeal than he'd intended.

She smiled at him, emitting a low, throaty chuckle. 'You really are such a prude when it comes to sex, Booth.-'

'I'm_ not_ aprude, Bones, it's just this _really _isn't something that partners should be talking about.'

'Why not Booth? Hey,' she added, voice rising in the excitement of having thought of an idea, 'maybe we should discuss your intense embarrassment in discussing sex with Sweets – I mean, I'm sure he'd have some theories concerning your Catholic upbringing, and your – '

'Bones, you go in there and tell Sweets that we've had _sex _dreams about each other and he'll split us up so fast that we won't even know what happened.'

'Oh, so you do admit that I was your partner in the dream?' she said, unable to keep the note of triumph out of her voice.

'Bones, just don't mention it to Sweets, okay?'

'Fine,' she sighed. 'I won't mention it. I still really don't see what you're so upset about.'

'I'm not _upset_ Bones, I'm just really not comfortable having this conversation with you.'

'I really don't see why, Booth. I mean,' she added, a wicked smile crossing her features, 'if you're worried about your _performance_ in my dreams, you really shouldn't -'

'-Bones!' His legs were now crossed tightly together and his face was flushed. 'I am _begging _you. Stop talking.'

'Fine Booth,' she sighed again, rolling her eyes. 'If it really makes you _so _uncomfortable, I'll stop. Although it is really very amusing to see you so embarrassed.'

They sat in silence for about ten seconds.

'So, do you have Parker this weekend?'

'Bones, you can't just switch from talking about pony play sex dreams to talking about my son!'

'I wasn't talking about pony play sex dreams. _I,_ unlike you, have _never_ dreamt about or had any personal interest in pony play,' she smiled triumphantly. 'I was just talking about sex dreams.'

He grimaced again. 'Not the point Bones.'

She sighed again. '_You _intimated that you desired for me to change the subject, Booth. I can't see what you're upset about this time.'

'To my _son_?! I _really_ don't want to be talking about my son when I'm thinking about sex dreams, Bones.'

'You're thinking about sex dreams? Right now?' She looked over at him and saw him. Pupils dilated. Cheeks reddened. Breath hitching. Legs crossed and hands clasped tightly together over his -

'Ohhh,' she said, smiling smugly as she understood what the problem was. 'Well Booth, sexual arousal is just a natural biological response to stimuli. You really shouldn't be embarrassed.'

'Right Bones,' he said, averting his eyes and standing up, making sure he faced away from her. 'I am going to the bathroom. When I come back, we are going to pretend that this conversation _never _took place, and we are never going to talk about pony play - or _sex dreams -_ again. Do you hear me?'

'Of course I hear you Booth, I have very good hearing_,' _she replied innocently.

'Bones!'

'Oh, you meant do I _understand _you. Okay, if you really are so repressed that even talking about sex makes you uncomfortable, then fine, I promise I won't mention pony play.'

'Good,' he said gruffly, stomping out of the room.

'Until next week' she added quietly, smiling as she picked up a magazine from the coffee table and began to read.


End file.
